3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
