He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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