I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
third nipple confirmed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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