dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So many bounce houses so little time
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
