i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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