Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
