North Korea, Best Korea!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
