TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
