I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize