and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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