I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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