i think my mom watched the whole time
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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