Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
