Sponge bath it is.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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