And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
