Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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