Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
