You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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