What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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