Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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