I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
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my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
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I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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