is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
COCAINE IS GR8
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
