we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
