When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize