I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
