I just made out with a guy for $7.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
