Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
