You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm like, not good at living.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
