We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
