Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
