I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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