the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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