Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You left your phone here
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