i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
