So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Slut skills are useful in every country.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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