i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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