Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
