The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize