at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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