Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
