Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am naked and annoyed.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
