You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
