just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
