Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
