The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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