The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
