Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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