I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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