Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
