The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
