It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
