I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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