i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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