Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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