Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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