You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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