Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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