omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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