We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
