I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
